Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Monday, 4 February 2019

Goodbye 2018 | Hello 2019

Happy New Year psychos!

I feel like I have started a post exactly identical to this one at the beginning of this year, wanting to say goodbye to what was a drama-filled 2017. Don't expect this post to be a 'new year, new me' crap because I don't believe in that. If a person truly wants to better themselves then they should not be wasting time announcing it.

Anyways, the new year has started, one month has come & gone, and I am writing about all the fun, crazy and memorable things that have happened in the year prior. With my currently failing memory, there is a high chance that I would forget everything in the next 5 minutes, so it is best I write down what I do remember.

I guess there was quite a good amount of the good, the bad and the ugly in 2018. Though to be fair, I think it is the same every year except I go through each of the motions differently each time. I guess this is what it is like to grow up huh?

Let's start with a few of The Bad from 2018 that I sort of kinda remember....

1. Disappointment. 
There are a few moments in the year where I was left feeling very disappointed by someone's chosen actions. And it was this year where I learned just how these kind of moments are usually caused by your own expectations. In these moments, I found myself getting angry at people when they don't meet my expectations and I would blame the person for making me feel the way that I did.

What I realised however, after many angry outbursts, is that the fault falls entirely on me. I was the one that had put certain kinds of expectations on them without telling them. Then when they did not meet it, I got frustrated. Actually, I got heck pissed.

When in actual fact, I should never have expected anything from anyone because at the end of the day, I will just end up disappointing myself.
A hard lesson to learn but then... I guess it was something that needed to happen in order for me to grow. But this also teaches me that no one is in control of your own happiness but yourself. 

2. People leave.
I have also learned that despite the efforts that you have put into keeping a certain few people in your life, they will still drift away. Whether it is done so by their own choice or life is just funnily cruel that way, I am not sure, but it happens. Happened

While I am quite sad to have lost the very few people who I would like to keep in my life, I will see it as their loss rather than mine. The amount of people that I want to keep are already minimal and constantly lowering in terms of numbers, yet many have already chosen to see themselves out. Then there are the very few that I knew I had to cut off.

But if I really do think about it, maybe it is better for me to not keep such people in my life anyways. This teaches me to appreciate the few people that I allow into my inner circle. Also, can I say just how fucking grateful I am that these few people still want to keep me after knowing just how weird I am? 

3. Anxiety.
Here is something I think almost nobody knows about me, anxiety is something that constantly runs on an absolute high in my mind. I don't quite understand why or when it started, but it exists in my subconscious and conscious mind. While I wish I could turn it off as easily as flipping a switch, I can't. 

What I had to learn in 2018 is to internalize everything that I felt before letting it consume me as a whole. I have to admit, this is still a struggle that I have yet to overcome. And unfortunately a select few people have been dealing with the brunt of my own emotional anxiety issues. 

Forgive me. I still have much to grow and learn. 
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Then there is The Ugly of the year.. 

But in all honesty, I would rather wipe that all from my failing memory. So I will just pretend that all the 'ugly' of 2018 does not even exist. Besides, why go on and on about something that would ultimately upset me when I would rather talk about all the good stuff of 2018.

Last year really had its ups and downs. On somedays, I may feel that there are more downs than anything else. But as I scroll through my photo album to refresh my memory on everything that has happened in 2018, I realise that I would prefer to focus on more good memories than anything. 

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1. Travelling & Holidays
2018 happened to be the year where I travelled more than I thought I would. Which is kind of weird, even to me, because I remember going on at most two holidays in a year.

Seoul & Busan - Korea - April 2018

Firstly, I took a trip to Seoul & Busan, Korea with my colleagues for 8 days in April. 

The trip was very YOLO and I went along with the thought that I may just enjoy myself. Plus I have always wanted to go Korea for a holiday, may never go with my mom because it is just not her preference and going alone had never crossed my mind. So, I figured, why the hell not. 

The few days were... Interesting to say the least. Whether I would go back to Korea again is debatable really but I think if given the chance, I think I would consider it. Especially to see the Cherry Blossoms which we JUST missed. 

Also, I was quite in love with the weather while we were there because it was cooling during the day despite the sun and then when night falls, it gets even colder. Which meant that I could dress up & break out my leather jacket, hoodies and knee high socks - these are pieces of clothing I have, also absolutely adore, but rarely get to wear in KayHell heat.  
And now here is my secret, a very simple secret:
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye.

- Le Petit' Prince
We spent about 2 days in Busan which I feel is more than enough to explore the small town. With Chin Mun as our guide, because she has been to Busan before, I got to explore Gamcheon Village, Busan which is also dubbed to be the 'Santorini' of Korea. 

Almost every corner of the village was picturesque in its own unique way. And you can find artistic murals in many different places with a lot of perfect photo opportunity.
One of the biggest highlight of our short stay in Busan for me was the bowl of Sundae Dwaeji Gukbap

It was the first meal I had in Busan after a two hour long train ride from Seoul. Ching Mun brought u to this store, supposedly a very popular spot called Bonjeon Dwaeji Gukbap. Even at the non-peak hour when we went to the restaurant which was about 5 minutes walk away from the train station, there was a short queue and the interior was filled with patrons happily eating. The wait was definitely worth it. 

Dwaeji Gukbap is basically a staple meal in Busan. It is mainly just a bowl of boiling hot pork soup with lots of spring onion, very tender pork meat and Sundae sausage which you eat with rice. You can mix in the marinated garlic chives, some extra seasoning that is provided on every table to your taste preference. 

That bowl of pork soup was heavenly in a drearily cold and wet weather that greeted us on arrival. Even up till today, I still crave for it and would probably never be able to get the same taste unless I travel back to Busan again.  
Good night & goodbye Busan.
We spent another 4 days in Seoul after returning from Busan via the train again and stayed in another AirBNB right in the heart of Hongdae street. The place is always busy, be it day time or night time with all sorts of clothing boutiques, beauty stores, cafes, bars and restaurants. 

Also, it took me 2 whole nights to realize that we were about 5 minutes walk away from two clubs. And I'm just thinking to myself; is it god giving me a sign?
Freezing. But Korean BBQ at midnight is perfect.
Another highlight of staying in Hongdae that is that we could have Korean BBQ at crazy o'clock. Plus, all the different kinds of local restaurants are so nearby, opened till late night and always filled with crowd, is so convenient for us that we could walk there when we are hungry. Even at 1.00 am or 2.00 am. 

Which was what we did almost every night because... Why not? I mean we won't be able to get Korean BBQ such late at night back in Kuala Lumpur. Plus, with the cold weather of Spring, sitting around a barbeque pit while grilling meat is not a bad idea really.

I don't know why but the grilled meats in Korea just tastes so much better. The pork belly is so much thicker & flavourful without any sauce, pork is more juicy & tender and the beef is meltingly good. Is it the air there or something? Why does everything just tastes so much better than what we can get in KL? 
Also, there was a day where I wandered off on my own in search of this particular art store which I found out about from Pooi Chin. I saw it on her Instagram and thought to myself, if I do not visit AllWrite when I am in Seoul then I am an idiot.

Here is a little something that you need to know about this store - AllWrite is only open on Friday, Saturday and Sunday at 1.00pm to 6.00pm. Also, it is in somewhat of a backalley where if you are quite a failure at navigating with a map like me, you might struggle to find.

Funny story was me getting very very lost while I walked from my AirBnB to the store. Firstly, I was using Google maps and I thought to myself; 'Since there is a long straight road ahead of me, I'll just enjoy my coffee and walk without looking at my phone. Just look out for the convenience store and turn left down the street'. Except, 15 minutes later, I realize that I had not found my left turn. Looked at my Google maps to find out that I was about 20 minutes off the route it told me to go.

Point of this story is, I am an idiot that not only got lost but also wasted time because I thought I was smarter than that. And I think I looked extremely lost too because a nice Korean Oppa was trying to help me, except we had quite the language barrier so I just went my own way anyways.

But on the bright side, the weather was so nice that I did not mind the walk. Plus I had a cup of coffee with me and my Isaac Toast. Also, the scenery was pretty too. Just thought it was funny in hindsight at my ability to get lost even with Google Maps as my aid.
The aesthetics of this store is everything I want if I ever open my own cafe. It reminded me faintly of Stickerrific except smaller and more quaint. 

In all honesty, it was definitely worth the long walk to visit this store. I can say that my mind was in quite a bad state but that changed after I stepped out of the store. Not empty handed of course. 

I got several postcards from Allwrite - some are photos taken by the store owner & a few simple designs that was a trademark of the store. And then I also bought two notepads that was just... So plain but vintagely pretty that I could not resist getting them. 

AllWrite
2-34 Changjeon-dong, Mapo-gu, Seoul, South Korea
Opens on Friday, Saturday and Sunday from 1.00pm to 6.00pm.
Another one of the most awesome highlight of the trip to Korea was being able to watch a live Baseball match between the Doosan Bears & the Kia Tigers. Something which I never would have ever thought I would ever be able to experience - thinking that I'd only be able to watch baseball matches online late at night (because US timezone) and that is about it.

There's something very enthralling about sitting in the stadium with huge crowds just cheering for the teams they are rooting for. And one of the most awesome part about watching the game live at the stadium happens to be the food.

No words can properly describe the syokness of having good fried chicken and beer while relishing in the exhilaration of a live baseball match. This is an experience that could not be matched by anything else and probably would never be forgotten, ever.

Would I ever go back to Korea again? Perhaps. But I think not any time soon. Because I would like to first go back to Sydney and then maybe think of exploring Japan as well.

Penang | Girl's Trip with Leena - June 2018

The second chance that I got to go on a holiday in 2018 was when Leena asked if I wanted to take a short trip down to Penang with her. By luck, she had won a free stay in the luxurious Macalister Mansion for 4 days and 3 nights. 

I wrote about our first day in Penang here, but there is just so much more about that weekend that I could just gush about. 
Room 4 of Macalister Mansion is an absolute dream. There is nothing about the room that you would hate. Except maybe the spotlight over the bed that we could never seem to turn off even after turning off every possible light switch in the room.

But it is something that you could easily forget once your head hits the pillow, preferably with an eye mask if light makes it hard for you to fall asleep, and you're all tucked into the blankets happily. Aside from that tiny little issue, the room was absolutely perfect. Especially the bathroom.
The trip, in short, was amazing. Everything was perfect. We even managed to catch a beautiful sunset.

In the few days that I spent with Leena, we got to catch up on the many months that we have gone without speaking because adult life has been rather challenging. It was as if no time had passed at all.
Can I have a repeat of that weekend please?

Macao & Hong Kong | October 2018

Now this last trip was a bit of a surprise. It was planned rather spontaneously by my mom's friend. I went to Macao & Hong Kong with my mom, sister and a whole bunch of other people in October. The plan was to go there for food, food and food. Nothing else. 

When they were talking about the trip few weeks before, I was told that the motive of the trip planned by my mom's friend and Andy is to bring us to all of their favourite restaurants. Now, this I was perfectly fine with because I know it would all be pretty damn good food. And plus, I do miss Hong Kong since it has been about 10 years since my last trip there.

What I had not expect however was to be eating, very big meals, every two to three hours. Which explains why I came back from the trip about 2kg or 3kg heavier. And the fact that we were to start our day at 9.00am daily which... Kinda defeats the purpose of a holiday, no?
What I was most excited about was having the very typical HongKie breakfast of Macaroni & Ham soup with a side of Egg & Spam toast plus a good cup of coffee. I know this is a simple breakfast for all and you could get it at almost any coffee shop in Hong Kong.

The last I had this meal was about 10 years ago during my last visit to Hong Kong - a trip that made me love the city despite how overcrowded and highly stressful it could be at times. I remember we could walk into any restaurant, order the exact same meal and it would be just as good always. 

But we did not just go to any regular coffee shop for our breakfast fix. We went to Tai Hing which in my books is a pretty commercialised version of the regular coffee shop that you could find in Hong Kong. Though, I do have to admit that the food is really really good. Especially the Egg & Spam sandwich. And the scrambled egg is the fluffiest cloud of creamy eggs ever. 
Of course we had to pay a visit to the Yee Shun Milk Co. for their signature Steamed Milk & Steamed Egg Pudding. Especially since we were in the area where my mom's friend went crazy with her own shopping spree. Obviously with the obvious currency crisis, we opted not to since shopping in Hong Kong had never really been our thing. 

So we headed over to Yee Shun and luckily for our very tired legs, there was no queue outside. Though we had to share a table with three other patrons also there enjoying the steamed milk pudding. Not that we minded sharing table since it is quite the norm when you are dining in Hong Kong. 

Out of all the steamed egg pudding that I have had in my entire life, this is still the best I have ever tasted. Perfectly smooth & tastes strongly of egg in the best of ways. Even the steamed milk pudding was yummy with a hint of ginger to make the entire dish less cloying. 

My sister could finish two bowls of this herself. She is the bigger sweet tooth than I am anyways. But if I could say that a dessert is good then you know how good these are. 
Another must eats for me when in Hong Kong are the Curry Fishballs and the Egg Waffle. I can eat this multiple times a day and never get bored of it. I even made sure to get one last fix of it before we made our way to the airport.

Again, you can get either of these at almost every corner of the city. Even the 7Eleven sells them but in my personal opinion, those little stores & kiosks that sells all these street snacks has the better tasting curry fishballs. Even though you can get curry fishballs in Malaysia in almost every single Pasar Malam, it NEVER tastes the same. 

I think its the curry that they cook & they add some kind of sauce to the mix, making the taste even better. The curry in Hong Kong is different because it is thicker & just tastes better. I don't even know how to explain it anymore. Just eat many many curry fishballs whenever you do visit Hong Kong. 

Especially the store on Nathan Road. It's probably the smallest freaking shop ever and the storekeeper is rude as hell, as if you murdered her entire family, but there is always a line of people waiting to get their fix of the Egg Waffle & Curry Fishball.  
During this trip, it was also the first time where I decided to explore Hong Kong city on my own. And I think I am slightly hooked on the feeling of exploring a brand new city on my own like this, ever since Korea.

Even though my mom's friend who was more controlling that my own mom disagreed completely. She told me that it is not safe and that we had to stick together - even though I was bored out of my mind when I was shopping with her. Not that she cared.

But then I was adamant that I wanted to find an artistic space while I was in Hong Kong. So after lunch one day, I just took off on my own and thoroughly enjoyed the good few hours I had to myself. I felt like a very free bird.
The first thing I did with my freedom was to go hunting for Bosco Wong's restaurant which was surprisingly really near where I was. It was a little bit of a detour from where I wanted to go but I was determined, hoping and praying that he would be there.

Except, with my terrible luck, Mr. Hottie was in London while I was adventuring to his restaurant. So I went on my way in search of an artistic space called PMQ in Sheung Wan which a friend of mine told me about.
While I was wandering around aimlessly, I managed to find Brew Bros' Coffee completely by chance. Of course it being so early in the day and I had yet to have my dose of caffeine yet so it is no surprise that I had to have a good cup of piping hot Cappuccino before I went on my way. 

Would it be a surprise for me to say that I got quite lost before reaching PMQ? 

And yes, it is quite the same situation as when I was in Korea, took my attention off of Google Maps while I enjoyed my walk only to end up walk off path for another good 10 minutes. Worst is this time around, I had walked up crazy amount of stairs. So you can imagine that I was completely out of breath by the time I reached my destination and also quite sweaty. 
But when I did finally get to PMQ, there was a Beer Festival going on so there was no artistic bazaar there like a friend of mine told me about. And while I was expecting a space that was similar to AllWrite or Stickerrific, it was nothing like it. Which I was quite disappointed by because I had every intention to find some arts & crafts item to bring back with me. 

Though there are little stores on each floor that sold handcrafted items and trinkets. The whole place reminded me a little bit of Publika on bazaar weekends except bigger and with more floors that was home to small kiosks for people to sell their own handicrafts. 

I left the space with nothing and continued exploring Sheung Wan on my own. There wasn't any stores that resembled Stickerrific in the slightest, maybe not in that part of the city that I was in. While I did not get any art stuff, I did however find a huge Lush store and ventured in only to leave the store with bath bombs and lotions. 
When in Hong Kong was also the first time I got to enjoy a bath bomb experience back at the hotel after a very long day of walking. I got the Intergalactic Bath Bomb because I have a slight obsession with galaxies and plus it smelled the best in my opinion. 

I spent a good ten minutes soaking in the pretty blue shimmery waters, not counting my initial five minutes spent taking all the photos I could, reading my kindle and just chilled. Momentarily forgetting about the reality that awaited me outside the bathroom. 

After all, isn't that what a holiday is all about? 
Despite how hectic and crazy my short trip to Hong Kong was, I still would like to visit the country again. Preferably with a different group of people, maybe on my own if I dare, and with an different kind of agenda rather than just to eat and shop at really high-end stores.
Also I need to mention that I had one of the best flight in my entire life when returning from Hong Kong. 

This was the first time where I had little to no anxiety during the flight. And I don't know if it was because we were lucky enough to have boarded a new MAS Airbus plane that was bigger (and quite empty too) or because I was eating the entire flight. I am one of those weirdo that thoroughly enjoy in-flight food. I don't really know, but I think if I had to re-do that flight again, I would actually not mind. 

But I had the best time on the flight. Which is the weirdest thing for me to say ever because I hate the thought of being in a plane.

2. Watercolor Journey
I am very happy to say that despite my random phases of absolute laziness, I have also been practicing my watercolor skills. Creating more artworks and just... painting more in general. Practice makes perfect yes? 

2018 is the year where I challenged myself to paint more. My goal was to paint art pieces that I could gift to my friends because I found the joy of packaging ever since I bought myself a galaxy design wax seal stamp from Sumthings of Mine. 
The first package I sent was to Zixuan after she had return to Xi'An to continue on in her journey of life. Since I missed having her in the office and needed to practice painting anyways, I thought why not paint and send something to her as a present.

The one thing that I promised to paint for her was a Mala Hotpot meal. When ZiXuan was still working in my company, she used to make Mala Hotpot for us in the office and it was super good. It only made sense that I painted her exactly that. 

And this piece took me a few weeks to fully complete from the sketching to packing it prettily before sending it off to its new owner. Mostly because there were periods of time where I had zero motivation and muse which just hinders my painting so I keep myself away from paints & brushes during these times to avoid messing up the art piece. 

Although I felt that my work could definitely be improved, I do hope that she is happy with her art piece when it finally reached her. :) 
And I did not stop there because I found a slight addiction with preparing envelopes. There's something very therapeutic about doing just that. So I painted another few other pieces and have been doing so throughout the year.
One of the art pieces that I was most proud of, despite how lopsided and disproportionate it looks, is the Jack Daniels' Old Fashioned recipe which I had prepared for my colleague. It is one of his favourite drink to order so I thought, why not paint it for him for his birthday. I mean... A hand made gift is more special than anything bought right?
Photo by Stickerrific
I also started the new year joining Sharlene Wang's Realistic Food Painting Watercolour Workshop held at Stickerrific. If I am looking to improve my skills then one of the ways is also to constantly learn rather than just stick with what, I think, I know to be right.

Here's to hoping that I will make more art pieces & get better in 2019! 

3. KINDLE
This was the year where I finally caved and bought myself a Kindle Paperwhite. After much convincing from Courtney & after I borrowed her Kindle on my trip to Korea. That is when I felt my entire perspective of that tiny device has changed. 
Now don't get me wrong, I will always always love holding a book and building my dream library will always be a goal for me. And I don't know if anyone will agree with me, but nothing is more comforting than the scent of an old book.

But I have no regrets whatsoever with buying the Kindle. It has been so convenient for me to read any and all book that I want. Not to mention that I am also saving a lot more when it comes to purchasing books too. Well that is because I kind of found a loophole in getting books for Kindles. 
A Kindle is just way too convenient and perfect for an avid reader. Especially when you travel a lot. At one time you can have hundreds of books in your palm and carry your massive library with you easily in your bag. 

Not just the convenience of having an entire library in such a tiny little device but you can also highlight quotes and go back to them under the 'My Clippings' section. Also, you can 
Almost every Sunday night, I would put on a sheet mask and relax on my bed with my kindle. This is a tradition that I have been keeping for a couple of months now to take care of my skin & just give myself a little pamper session before starting work the very next day.

With my kindle, I can just lay in bed and read without my hand getting too tired from holding a book up. Actually there were quite a few times where I had unknowingly fallen asleep mid-read and woken up with my Kindle still next to my pillow.

I can't believe that I have become one of those people that will advocate a non-physical book. But I honestly think a Kindle is one of the best things I have ever bought. 

4. WESG Malaysia & SEA Grand Finals
Although the few days, weeks, prior to both events nearly drove me mentally insane, I am actually really happy to have taken part in the event. 

Not going to lie, the days were long and there were times, multiple times, in between where I wanted nothing more than to just sit in a corner so I can cry. 
I mean... Have you ever tried not just handling logistics for all the players, including 4 other drivers and also manage the transportation of about 600 cartons of mineral waters? 

But honestly I had the best of help. I had the most awesome crew that would do almost everything and anything that is required of them with little to no complaints. There is also Desmond

The reason I want to cry mainly consists of stress and also because I was so tired beyond words. Plus as with every event, anything and everything could go wrong, so problem solving seems to be what we were doing the most while we were on standby. And that just drains one so much emotionally, mentally and physically. 

With that being said, I would not trade those few days I spent taking part and getting involved in the E-Sports industry. While I am a shitty gamer because I practically suck at every game due to my short attention span, but watching amazing players play live is entirely different. And that was just a very small part of the tournaments.
The hottie with green hair is my baby, Jasmine. Whom without for the few days of WESG, I would probably be dead somewhere on the streets. She is one of the reasons why I still had some semblance or normal sanity during the few days of absolutely craziness. 

Dare I think about what WESG for 2019 is going to be like? But at the same time, I am quite excited 

5. TATTOOOOOO
It has been more than 2 years since the last time I got a tattoo. And while I go through phases of wanting to get new ink on myself, I rarely ever come up with something that I truly want to get. Plus I rarely ever have the extra money to splurge on the idea anyways. So getting another tattoo has always been something that lingers in the back of my mind and probably will remain there as another plan that will never be executed. 

But, November comes, my best friend messages me saying that she wanted to get a small piece done and asked that I go with her. I don't remember when but we have mentioned a long time ago that there will be a time where we would both get a tattoo together - not the same design (yet), just at the same time. Of course I was completely into the idea. We had after all planned that since we were in high school and now we finally got the chance to do that. 
I searched for something simple and would mean a lot to me because this will be something that will follow me for the rest of my life. At that point, I was really into finger tattoos so that was what I went for. 

And of course, I sent a message to Dr.Ink hoping for my favourite tattoo artist to be there, who also happens to be the same person that had done my very first tattoo when I was 18 - Uncle Water. Except he would be unavailable till mid of January so I settled for another artist that was good with fine lines instead. 
To answer the age-old question, no the process did not hurt too much. Actually the most accurate description of the sensation of getting a tattoo would be, imagine taking a super hot razor and dragging it across your skin gently. And that is how it felt like to me. Some parts will be slightly more uncomfortable than others but nothing too crazy where it is unbearable. 

Honestly, after the first few minutes, you kind of get slightly into the prickling pain. It gets quite addictive especially mixed with the sound of the machine too.
Admittedly I was being quite difficult with my tattoo artist prior to inking. 

Me, being OCD, was quite particular about the placement of the tattoo and made him change the artwork for one of my tattoo about... 3 times before I was finally happy with it. That is not counting the many times he had to readjust the placement of the sketch before starting. 
At the end of the day, I could not be more happier by the finished product. And I don't know, I still find it pretty cool to look down at my right hand and find the tattoo there. In fact I can't stop admiring it - as weirdly self obsessed as that sounds. 

As I am typing this, I am already thinking of what my next ink would be and where on my body should I put it on. 

6. New hair-do
Change. A rather big one. Is what I think my boring ass needed.

After going 2 years with my badly bleached hair after multiple attempts at getting the beautiful gray tresses that you see on Pinterest, I finally changed up my look. Thanks to my favourite hair stylist Frank from the Page Hair at Bangsar.
The first change he did was to chop off my overly long locks that was not just damaged on the ends from bleaching, it was also making me look like a 16 year old. More so than usual. I was a bit apprehensive at first because I've grown so used to the long hair and change is not something that I get used to so quickly. 

But I thought, let's just do it and bring some layers back to my lifeless hair. And honestly, I was quite surprised by how much I liked that change. This is the shortest length my hair has been for the past 5 years at least. It kind of felt a little weird but I liked it especially the fringe. Which I did not have before this. That is one part of my hair change done and then there was the matter of my hair colour being... Horrendous. 

I waited another 2 weeks before I went back to Frank's salon to finally change my hair colour. And this time, I trusted him enough to get the right colour that I wanted while making me look good.
Gone were my ugly bleached orangey hair and in its place is jet black hair on the top and then, the bottom half of my hair was bleached another two more times to get the gray shade that I wanted. IT WAS SOOOOO PRETTYYYYYY!

My hair came out looking better than I had expected and all credit goes to Frank. It was he that suggested I dye the top parts of my hair black and then because I still wanted the gray hair colour that I never got before this, he left the bottom hair of my bleached hair untouched by the dark colour before adding on the colour. 

A darker hair colour certainly was a different look for me having gone so long with brightly bleached hair. So different that when I went into the office the following day, most of my colleagues did not recognised me at first. And I have kept my hair the same as it is for the entire year - only going back to the Page Hair Shop to get the colours retouched & to get my hair trimmed.
You know, looking back on the previous year, it was as crazy as it could get. And I managed to survive through the entire year in the weirdest most unbelievable way while still managing to keep what little sanity I had left intact. 

I mean... There were a few casualties here & there. But I lived and survived through it all, so I should be proud, shouldn't I? 

I wonder what new adventures and craziness will be in store for me this year tho. Half of me is excited and another part of me is dreading all the uncertainties that are waiting for me. And all I can do is stare at the dark path ahead of me, trying my best to be prepared for the unforeseeable. 

In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate. 
- Isaac Asimov

Now, I should stop being so darn pessimistic and gloomy, because it is time for me to unleash some hell for the new year of 2019. Because a good friend of mine told me, life is simply. Loves!

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

First two weeks of AdMint-ing

So from my previous blog entry (HERE) most of you know that I have recently switched jobs. Although I was rather vague about what company or what kind of industry, I think it is kind of obvious from the picture that I included.

Here's an obvious hint for those who are still rather confused - Events & Soirees galore. (;
Let me recap how the past two weeks has been so far.

I believe it has been rather short but also quite a long week of change for me. But I don't know how to explain my days properly so I'm just going to list down whatever that comes to mind for now and maybe the challenges I've encountered in the past few days then go from there.

1. Change.
Like I said before, I cannot deal with change all that well. In fact, I don't even know how to deal with it at all because my instant reaction to that is just panic and overthink on the worst possible scenario before anything can even happen. I am a creature of habit and would prefer staying in my comfort zone where it is safe regardless of how mundane it is - which explains why I hadn't left my previous company despite how much I complain about my days there off duty.

And then came this new job along with an opportunity which I can't miss, yet I was terrified of having to change my usual routine entirely. Also I had to change my work environment, boss, way of doing things and a whole lot more. Safe to say that I was launched straight into an anxiety attack the night before my first day at work.

But........ As crazy as this sounds, everything went better than I expected & my week has been pretty good. I don't want to jinx things just yet but there have been no hiccups. I hope things just continue the way they are then it'll be good. *faster touch wood a million times*

2. First big event. 
On my second day itself there was a wedding in which the whole office had to go help setup. This was my very first time being part of the crew and let's just say it was more batshit crazy than I ever thought it would be.

Whenever I'm scrolling through my Instagram feed and come across a new picture of the event that my company has done, I find it super beautiful. Foolishly, I never really considered just how much work goes into turning a simple and rather empty space into something that resembles someone's ideal/dream party. Not only does it take a lot of planning days and even weeks in advance, a lot of effort also goes into preparing the actual day to turn out just exactly what has been envisioned before.

And after working for literally 12 hours (setup + tear down) for a wedding, I have so much more appreciation for event planners.


3. Making new friends.
My immediate reaction to number 3 is NO.  HELL NO. GOODBYE.

This is another thing on my list of experiences I wish to avoid for as long as possible. Except when it came to switching jobs, I clearly have to face the giant problem even if I was crying on the inside. I hate making new friends and meeting people for the first time just makes me feel all weird. I'm an awkward potato ohkay. Days and weeks even joining this new company, I was just secretly praying for nice colleagues because working with people who are a pain is just going to cause so much problems.

But like always I'm lucky when it comes to working colleagues & boss. Everyone in the office is really nice even though I was super clueless the first week and stupidly tried to understand how everything works.

4. Work.
Mostly paperwork. Considering the fact that my role specifically means that I handle the entire admin department, it should come as no surprise that I'd be facing this day in and day out. But the amount of paperwork that I've been dealing with in the short amount of time is seriously enough to make me go slightly bonkers. The scary thing is; it never really ends.

However, I am slowly getting the hang of it all and growing accustomed to all the different systems. And just inching my way to the finish line wherever it is at right now.

5. Office.
This is part of the whole change which I also wasn't really looking forward to. Until I was there and.... Yeah, let's just say I changed my mind. Like I cannot even properly explain how much I adore my new office. And because I'm too lazy to explain how it looks like, you get a picture that I sneakily took when I was the only one in the office early in the morning.

Floor to ceiling glass windows!

If you know me well enough then you'd know that I have a small obsession with them. It somehow just makes a space look so much more elegant and spacious, even if it does let in a lot of light.

OMG. The best part of the entire office (aside from the fully stocked pantry) is my table. Right at the corner of the room and against the wall. That makes my inner introvert so happy because I can be left alone to do my work.

And it's time for me to get back to work now. See you all next time!


Tuesday, 2 February 2016

What happens when.....

I can't believe that I'm saying this but 2016 is actually going to be a year of change for me. A big one too and I really don't know how to feel about that just quite yet.

Honestly I'd rather not think too much about it or else I'd have a stupid anxiety attack in the middle of the day. And the night before, I was laughing at the best friend when she had one out of the sudden. INSTANT KARMA. I'M SO SORRY BEB. ;-;

But anyway, what I was trying to say is...

Every beginning of the year or maybe even the few days before, I'd see people posting things everywhere about new resolutions, or looking back on the highlights of that year and then moving on to say how much their life is going to change. My immediate reaction every time is to roll my eyes because I personally think it's damn fake.

Though I think it's cause I never really cared to reflect on these kind of things. At least not for long because well...

1. Over the years my new year's resolutions are almost ALWAYS never kept. After January it all gets forgotten even if I make the same ones every year. So I think, what is the point?

2. And I don't list down all the good things that happened in the previous year because... There's no other way to put it other than I've forgotten most things that has happened after the past 3 months. If I list down the few things that I'm really grateful for then I can't help but feel guilty cause I know I've forgotten a whole lot of other things.

3. It's not like I'm some celebrity or something so who the hell cares about shit that goes on in my life other than a few really good friends. Who I will talk to over whatsapp rather than publicize shit over Facebook. Unless I really want people to say things like 'oh im so happy for you' (read: fake wishes) and if not, then anything I doesn't matter at all. 

4. Nothing really changes with each new year with me anyway. Seriously, my life is so uneventful that it hardly warrants a loooong reflection post before moving onto some new phase. 

That was until the end of 2015. Anyway, I'm probably ten thousand years late to this whole new year crap but.. Eh, I follow the Chinese calendar (like never cause i dont understand) so I'm quite on time. At least in my head.

And this isn't some self-reflective post where I would be apologizing for all the shitty things that I have done or something like that. Nope, there is going to be none of that here. 

Basically.
Honestly I'm writing this blog post to gloat about the fact that I got a new job! While I'm not 100% sure that this is the correct path quite yet but it's definitely a start to something new & exciting. Actually I think anything is better than my previous job that is boring as heck and was actually getting a little too frustrating to be at everyday.

It would be damn bad of me to just go on complaining about everything that was wrong with the old company that I had been working with. Trust me I can go on for days just talking about all of that but then that would be unprofessional and I can't. Though, maybe ask me in person and I might tell you some of the crazy things. (;

I learned quite a lot in the past two years in this company and am quite grateful for all the care that was given to me. Seriously I am so spoiled there cause I'm the youngest one there so most people looks out for me, till a colleague of mine brings me bird's nest dessert every now and then. Lucky or what?

But I think it is time for a change, career-wise which would lead to lifestyle as well I presume, even if I am terrified of the thought of one. I have grown far too comfortable in my current office that there is not much of a challenge anymore hence I do not have much to grow, career-wise.

And since I am lucky enough to get this opportunity, it would be damn stupid of me to not accept it just because I am scared. So yeah, there's going to be a big change for me this year and starting now. I can only do my best and fingers crossed that everything will turn out fine too - even if I'd be complaining like crazy for the first month.

So to my friends, please completely disregard everything I say for the next one or two months and I'm sorry for the incessant cussing & complaints that are coming. Also don't forget to remind me what a great opportunity this is and that I should be grateful. Yep. Thanks.

Such a beautiful feed and sight to look at.
This is just a glimpse of what my future is going to be full of and also, just to make people jealous a tiny bit. Yes, I love to gloat when I can because I can now safely say that I am working the dream job. Or at least as close to it as I can get at the moment.

Wish me luck!


Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.
Mary Shelley, Frankenstein


Monday, 21 September 2015

Half empty.

So last night, I watched an update by Bubz and it got me thinking....  Am I really that negative of a person and is it bad for me?

Q & A | Retiring Youtube?

For those who know me very well would know that I adore Lindy to bits. It's kind of crazy to think that I've been watching her videos since way back in the day when she was still living in Northern Ireland, first introducing Tim as her boyfriend and sharing with us the day she was proposed to, getting married and now they've got little Isaac!

There is so many things about her that sets her apart from several other Youtube personas and the one thing I adore about her the most is how much she bonds with her subscribers. Plus she's always giving good advises on how to grow as a person in the best of ways - which I believe a lot of us struggle with, particularly myself.

Anyway, I completely digressed. But the point of me writing this is after watching the newest video on BubzVlogz, it got me thinking about how I view things in my life and that is affecting how I view the world. It is almost completely unrelated to the Youtube video as a whole. LOLOL.

Somewhere in the Q&A session, Bubz talked about how she deals with heartache and disappointment. Honestly I feel like she's such a strong person to be able to still be so optimistic in the midst of so much crap. I'm sure there are lots of things that she is going through but do not show us and that's fine, it is her prerogative to do so. Yet she still manages to look pass all of that and find ways to grow stronger rather than dwell on the negatives.

Which made me realize that I am quite the negative person.

Then I remembered that at some time in the early of this year, I decided to try something new. It was a challenge for myself to complain about my life a whole lot less, or at all really, to stop being so negative about every single thing that is happening whether big or small and start being grateful. Sounds pretty easy eh?

Seeing as I am such a negative potato head I thought maybe this will change my perspective in life. So, determined to complete this self-challenge, I told myself to give it a go since I have anything to lose from doing so anyway.

Fast becoming one of my favourite mottos in life. Plus look at the fluffy ears & tail - super cute. 
The challenge for myself is to go at least a month with an optimistic outlook on life and.... Let's just say I barely lasted a week before I was a giant ball of frustration.

Initially I was kind of pumped up about this little soul searching challenge, hoping that in some small way it will turn a lot of things around and make me see the world in a more beautiful way. Going by something Bubz always tells us is that 'there is a treasure in every trial, there is always a reason to laugh, love and learn'. This is my attempt at being a more cheerful and grateful person.

Though a week later when everything just felt like the bad things kind of snowballed from meh to a freaking hurricane, I lost track of my own little challenge. I started looking at things in a negative light, blaming small little mishaps on everything around me and ultimately I just felt angry at literally everything. And also everyone.


Ultimately, after a ramble, I realized that I can almost never be that way. Not without really trying my damnedest to think of all the good things. It's just not in my nature to be all 'I LOVE THE WORLD #POSITIVEVIBES' or 'THINK POSITIVE AND THE WORLD WILL BE FULL OF RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES' especially not when I am feeling down in the dumps.

I just... I, physically and mentally, cannot. It makes me cringe whenever I try and even at some odd times when I do feel that way, I even get annoyed with myself. HAHAH.

Honestly what I would really need is just a moment for myself to sulk, cry, vent or anything that will let me get whatever that's frustrating me off my chest. Then after I would just confront the problems head on and then see where things goes from there. If some time to myself doesn't work then there's always violent thriller movies or games to try as a last resort.

I know it makes me sound like such an angry person. But weirdly enough, I am not too sorry being the grump that I am and also mad happy that my friends still love me in spite of that.

It's just the way my brain is wired and I'm sick of people telling me 'Look on the bright side! Think positive and you will automatically feel that way!'. Somehow it really doesn't help me feel any better at all and I don't know why, it has more of an opposite effect.

Motivational stuff doesn't work on me ohkay, so don't try and force it because this ship ain't sailing. Don't even guilt-trip me over this too because... No. At the end of the day, you know what I say to all of that load of bull crap?

FUCK YOU, POSITIVELY. :3

Originally from tumblr
Ohkay, sorry about the random profanity.

What I meant to say is that it's very clear that I am a 'glass is half empty' kind of person and honestly, that's fine with me. I mean, I do believe in seeing the silver lining and despite my negative outlook on life, I definitely know that there is a treasure/lesson in every trial.

So I'd have to go through the crappy things and learn from it after persevering, rather than brushing the problem under the carpet with the pretense of 'think positive and it will go away' mindset. Plus there's no reason to pretend to be all happy and all when deep down I know that I am not.

Though to be fair I am trying to be a more grateful person in general rather than dwell on just the bad things that have happened. But this is a learning curve for me and changing completely is obviously not going to yield the best results.

Anyways, TL;DR, after a failed attempt at being a permanent positive sunflower and also some soul searching, I finally discovered the main reason why I am such a pessimist.














Ready for it?
...............................


Are you ready for the ultimate revelation?
..................................................


Truth is........... 
I am........ 












EEYORE~
Originally from tumblr
No, that doesn't mean that I am an ass. I guess occasionally I can be one but that's besides the point and I am not literally one if you get my drift. But you gotta admit, especially those select few that understands me really well, the resemblance is definitely there. Most of the time.

Plus I've been wanting to use this line for a while now. It's no wonder why this character, out of all the other ones in the Winnie the Pooh stories, is I was most attached to. Though, if you've actually paid attention to the things that Eeyore says, he is actually the smartest of them all because he's a realist.

And that ends my random thought for today. Let me go bury my nose in the new book and MAYBE be hardworking enough to edit pictures from the other day's launch party before writing a mini blog post.

Until next time lovelies! Bye!